Monday, July 13, 2009

Conspicuously Absent

That is me.

Sorry, last week sent me into such a royal funk it took a few days to right the ship. You see, the 7th panned out to be a horror as I predicted. Not only the past baggage but new stuff as well. Jackie got hurt at school and I spent about half the day at the doctor's office with Steffie due to a hurt arm. A DJ's speaker fell on her arm during a July 4th party. No broken bones but tendon, ligament and muscle damage.

It was alot of drama on a day when I already had enough drama. And to top it all off, I watched Michael Jackson's funeral. Sad, all around just a sad day.

So I'm writing like a fiend trying to get some money pumping back into the house. It's hard to keep up the pace and it's especially difficult with the constant chatter of little monsters. I still can't shift gears quickly or split my attention very well. Multi-tasking is nearly impossible. Chemo brain is still in effect.

I have noticed that articles flow much better and that I can get those thoughts down quicker. There are times when my fingers are faster than my head, which is funny because the words end up being googledy gook. Good thing I work for myself. I've also noticed that I have a neat littel equilibrium problem at times. I tip over. Hip pain has definitely dropped off although the bone pain from my knees to my ankles hurts terribly at times. Thanks chemo - loving these continual side effects.

I like my nightly 8:30 - 9:00 hot flashes. Every night, without fail - I break out into a sweat. Predictable is good.

Cats, fish, birds, Bill, and kids are great. Learning to cope with what is left after the world gets torn apart by cancer.

Mom is doing well - she's starting a new chemo regimen of Avastin tomorrow morning. This will be much gentler than the Cysplatin with virtually no side effects. Infusion will be short - about a half hour if she does her blood work before going to the hospital. This first time will take a little longer to check for adverse reactions. Mo is also taking a new drug called Lirica for neuropathy. She could barely walk from the pain in her feet. It's been 5 days and we are seeing simply remarkable improvement in her pain. How's she supposed to be superman when her feet hurt?

Too many birds on the antenna here. I just find it incredible that I can't juggle so much anymore when that's always been my forte. I try not to let it bother me and do what I can without freaking out. It's just quite difficult to have everyone's program in my head at once now. Juggling stuff takes alot of mental effort.

Done for tonight. Ciao!

3 comments:

Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

It sounds like you've been through the wringer.
I'm glad the Lyrica is working out for your Mom. I worked on the project that it was part of when I was working. Before this (and Neurotin) there wasn't anything effective against neuropathic pain.

Sara Williams said...

Juggling stuff is hard when you are ok but with chemo it is even harder. I find that I go off to do a job then get distracted and hours later wonder why I never completed the task. Be kind to yourself though, remember to take some time for you xx

Daria said...

That is what I kinda mourned the most ... not being the person I once was.

I hope you find coping strategies that work for you.