Thursday, October 23, 2008

2/6 and moving down the chemo road

Today is session #2. I was so worried this week about having side effects on top of my side effects that I've barely been able to eat all week. I've crammed as much as a person can in the days that I've felt well during this 21-day session. I'm pretty proud of myself.

I know I won't have this much energy all the time.

Something funny, Bill and I were talking last night about how I've been cranking out articles. I wrote a pretty creepy Halloween story yesterday that I'm pretty happy with. Bill mentioned at dinner was that it seems as though the chemo is cranking up the creativity cells in my brain. (What he didn't say is that the logic cells are getting more clueless by the minute - :) HeHE!)

Went to Novena with Steffie last night. For those that don't know, Novena is the 9 days of prayer to celebrate the feast of St. Jude. This was especially good because St. Jude is Saint we petition in times of trouble for assistance. Novena is a penitent time and both Stef and I went to confession. Despite being at her school, our own Parish priest came down to do confessions. Both Steffie and I talked to him.

Father told me something that is so very important for a cancer patient or anyone that is sick. He said we learn to put our complete faith in God by every day handing him our fears and moving away from fear. It's a daily goal, a daily job for us. And gradually we'll feel our fear leave us.

I'm very afraid, and while that's wholly natural as Father said, it doesn't mean I have no faith or that I ever lost it. Father said when we are faced with tragedy, it's an even higher test of our fortitude and a great lesson in prayer.

I feel better and bless him, he told me I was being to hard on myself about feeling sad and afraid. He also said my one Hail Mary covered not being able to go to church. I am not having my chemo schedule messed up from being out in public too much. I have snotty nosed kids running around.

Steffie had a good talk with Father and he told me he thinks she's a great kid. We both talked about how this thing is the very first heavy duty test of her faith. It's a very hard thing for an 11-year old to handle. But she's doing so well.

Mom had her first chemo session yesterday at the fusion ward. We've decided it's the best day spa to go to when you're having something crappy done to you body. They danced attention on her and made her feel pretty good. She sounded happy that Daddy was making her an omelet last night.

To all my blogging friends who are troubled, I'm praying for all of you. We face these trials holding hands with friends and loved ones and take one step and one day at a time.

Have a good day. Renee - I'll be thinking of you when I'm getting my juice today :) Kathy, I hope your spirits improve, take it 24 hours at a time. Many prayers to heal you headed your way.


Renee aka Goose said...

Thank you!

Today was uneventful on the infusion - only 1.5 hours. So I was very pleased. I have a sore throat and a slight headache. Not sure what is causing these -- didn't have them last time.

Praying and believing for no side effects for both of us!

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your thoughts. It's so amazing how the most difficult times can bring out the most empathy, even as you're in pain.

As I told Renee, chemo gives you superpowers - you just might not know it yet.

I'm so grateful to have these new connections; thank you.