This whole mess is being aggravated by the filling of my right implant. As the skin is shrinking, the implant is getting pushed around. I can actually feel the edges of the thing. This hurts like it did when I first has my mastectomy. Except that my left boob isn't suffering along with the right.
I had 2 babies - I can do this, right?
We discussed after treatment depression yesterday. Dr. A mentioned that many women crash emotionally after being under the constant care of physicians for so many months. He spoke specifically to Bill about this issue. I don't plan to have depression. I remember the feeling of incredible elation after finishing chemo. A feeling of freedom to do what I wanted as soon as I was strong enough. To be lazy if I wanted to. To NOT have my life guided by doctor appointments. It may sound arrogant to say I won't be depressed. I might get scared but I realize I need to learn how to deal with being a cancer success story. I did ask Dr. A not to be offended if I come running out of his office, hooting and hollering with a big grin on my face. (I could tell he thinks I'm gonna be a basket case!)
I'll be visiting him weekly for the month after treatment finishes for TLC for my skin. After that, visits will pop out to monthly if he feels the need.
I complete 25 of 25 lymph node radiation treatments today. YAY ME!!!!!
I have 5 more treatments after that focusing on the tumor site. Straight on the front. Then I'm done, done, done!!!!! April 8th, I think.
So I'm thinking about depression, about my sisters and brothers who are struggling with this awful curse, and pondering where all of us are sitting within our battles. Moving forward always. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Ta Ta for now..
2 comments:
You have absolutely made me sure I'm NOT going to have reconstructive surgery. You have been through so much.
No, I believe when this is over for you there will be no depression... Heck, I'm excited for you!
You're helping me though my nighmare more than you know. Thank you. You rock.
Sheri
Sheri, thanks for the props :) You might very well decide to have reconstruction after all this and in hindsight, I would have waited. This is much more complicated when receiving radiation treatments with implants installed. That isn't the case with you at all. Consider having some new boobies installed after you're all finished and healed up - I am certain it's a walk in the park then.
Please visit Kathy's blog at "life is sunny." Kathy just went through a double mastectomy after being recovered from chemo treatment for over a year. She's loving her new "girls" as she calls them. Her blog is a hoot and she's got a sense of humor very like your own.
This blogging network we've got going is very like therapy. I'm so glad to see that it's helping you.
Hugs,
Sharon
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