Saturday, January 24, 2009

Surfacing slowly...

I'm here but not really. I feel terrible still. I guess this is cumulative chemo for you, huh?

It's been bad around here. The day of chemo, Jackie had a fever at school. I called for an appointment for her at the Doc the next day, fully expecting bronchitis or walking pneumonia. It was walking pneumonia, mommy for the WIN diagnosis! She's out of commission for at least a week, on a baby Z-pack and Tussin cough syrup. The problem with these little ones is that we can't get them to cough this crap up.

She's a very meanie little patient. Thank God Bill's mom is here.

Mom is in the hospital after having chemo Wednesday. She passed out on Friday morning and was taken to the hospital. They aren't letting her out until tomorrow (Sunday) - I hope. It seems she was dehydrated, magnesium levels out of whack, anemic - all of the things that are so easy to find in a chemo patient but so hard to notice in a healthy patient. A feeling of "not right" needs to be listened to very closely by everyone around a chemo patient. And we need to listen to ourselves too.

It is very hard to be in the throes of the "worst chemo days" and not be able to help her. Makes me mad at my circumstances all over again.

This final chemo has been a real bear. Headache, check...cramps from Neulasta, cramps in my ankles, knees and thighs from Neulasta...check...fever, check...head cold, check. You name it, it's gone on here. I feel like a walking dead person. And the inside of my mouth is awful. It feels like the stringy stuff you pull off oranges, except it tastes awful. Fuzzy, like cottonmouth times 600.

So I fully expect to get another round of antibiotics from the Doc on Tuesday. All I know is that I have a host of appointments that start next week for filling my tatas, mediport removal and everything else to gear up for radiation. I don't have time for low blood counts, fevers, or all this nonsense. I WANT TO BE WELL NOW!!!!

Maybe tomorrow I'll have more energy...and maybe tomorrow I'll be more reasonable and realize that I have to give myself a little time here to get better before I can jump back into the fray.


Sue in Italia/In the Land Of Cancer said...

You have been more than reasonable given the cards dealt this week-sick mom, sick child, recovering from chemo..hard to be a double caretaker when you need caretaking yourself.Fortunately you seem to have lots of inner strenghs.

Renee said...

Sorry to hear that this round of chemo is so sucky!

For your port removal . . . are you doing it in the doctor's office or in outpatient surgical room?

Hang in there!


S. F. Heron said...

The port removal will be in the office. I would prefer the outpatient surgery but that's not to be. The installation of the port turned into a nightmare where the Doc had a very difficult time installing it and ended up running the tube up my neck. My Doc said these kinds of installation problems only happen once every 5-6 years.

I fully expect to barf all over him, despite the local :)

I'm trying, Sue but it's very hard. Jackie wants Mommy and she's a germ factory. I did get to see my Mom today which made me feel better. She'll be in there until her counts improve.

Too much - TOO MUCH! I need to be well to handle all this!!