I'm here but not really. I feel terrible still. I guess this is cumulative chemo for you, huh?
It's been bad around here. The day of chemo, Jackie had a fever at school. I called for an appointment for her at the Doc the next day, fully expecting bronchitis or walking pneumonia. It was walking pneumonia, mommy for the WIN diagnosis! She's out of commission for at least a week, on a baby Z-pack and Tussin cough syrup. The problem with these little ones is that we can't get them to cough this crap up.
She's a very meanie little patient. Thank God Bill's mom is here.
Mom is in the hospital after having chemo Wednesday. She passed out on Friday morning and was taken to the hospital. They aren't letting her out until tomorrow (Sunday) - I hope. It seems she was dehydrated, magnesium levels out of whack, anemic - all of the things that are so easy to find in a chemo patient but so hard to notice in a healthy patient. A feeling of "not right" needs to be listened to very closely by everyone around a chemo patient. And we need to listen to ourselves too.
It is very hard to be in the throes of the "worst chemo days" and not be able to help her. Makes me mad at my circumstances all over again.
This final chemo has been a real bear. Headache, check...cramps from Neulasta, check...new cramps in my ankles, knees and thighs from Neulasta...check...fever, check...head cold, check. You name it, it's gone on here. I feel like a walking dead person. And the inside of my mouth is awful. It feels like the stringy stuff you pull off oranges, except it tastes awful. Fuzzy, like cottonmouth times 600.
So I fully expect to get another round of antibiotics from the Doc on Tuesday. All I know is that I have a host of appointments that start next week for filling my tatas, mediport removal and everything else to gear up for radiation. I don't have time for low blood counts, fevers, or all this nonsense. I WANT TO BE WELL NOW!!!!
Maybe tomorrow I'll have more energy...and maybe tomorrow I'll be more reasonable and realize that I have to give myself a little time here to get better before I can jump back into the fray.