Thursday, July 1, 2010

If I close my eyes...

I don't see the little label on my bookmarks that says "The Cookie Jar."  I don't click on it.  I just ignore it.  I'm getting good at it.  I sometimes don't see it for a week or more, but then it sneaks up...and peeks at me.  It reminds me that I have to check to see if everyone is okay.

I think alot about why I don't write here too often.  Maybe it's because I'm avoiding the past and trying to put the cancer drama out of my head.  Or maybe it's because this blog was such a lifesaver throughout the whole process.  Maybe I avoid this whole blog thing because I'm afraid to see what is going on with my virtual sisters in BC.

It's probably a mix of things.

I can't write my book.  I treat it like my blog.  I'm ignoring it because it upsets me.  I really should write it cause justice would allow someone to make money off the hell I've been through. 

Markers are clean here so I have no worries.  My kids are healthy, my husband is great.  Mom is doing great and so is Dad. 

Maybe I'm still rebelling against the mental part of this whole thing...

2 comments:

joven said...

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http://forlots.blogspot.com/

Renee said...

Hey Chica!

Checking in with you to see how you are doing. It's amazing that it's been 2 years when we both began this journey.

I'm with you on the reasons why we're not blogging.

It seemed my life was all about my aches, pains and cognitive issues and the blog was getting boring. Plus, I got super-duper depressed and it took about 9 months to get out of it with the right meds and dosage. The worry of the "what ifs" on this cancer just sent me spiraling down.

I shall get back to blogging because the journey continues even tho the treatments are over. And there are women who are just starting this journey-that-no-one-wants-to-be-on who are reading our blogs to see if they will be okay. Remember those times? I sure do!

xoxox

Renee