Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Anti-rant

I need to clarify my rant.

I'm not mad at anyone, nothing triggered the tirade - it's just a culmination of months of this BC stuff and railing against the fates.

It also embodies how I feel about insensitivity, lack of empathy, exclusiveness, and lack of tact. People suck sometimes and they suck worse when you have cancer. We're hypersensitive, because our emotions are raw almost all the time. Being tolerant is a damn strain.

So no, I'm not angry. No, I don't feel like I got it off my chest. I wasn't mad to begin with. Actually, I will say the trigger might've been washing my hair yesterday. It brought to mind something from a few months ago - someone said something to me about having no hair. Along the lines of "think of how much money you're saving on shampoo." Ok, sure and I bet it's adding up in comparison to the $1000s that are being spent on my care. Do I CARE about shampoo?

It's relative.

Anyway, I'm not mad, per se. I'm mad at stupidity.

On to the real life. Sit down for this one.

Stef's softball team won last night. 9-0. We were shocked, as in bug-eyed because these girls have shown a complete lack of concern, effort, listening skills, motivation, absorption and just about everything else. Now admittedly, the other team wasn't that great but at least they could field. Bill and I were so excited we chattered about the game until 2 a.m. We couldn't sleep because we were so happy for them.

We got skunked the first 2 games, by numbers that are too high to mention. Last night was a nice surprise and all because 2-3 girls decided to take the bull by the horns and be leaders. It was great. In the rain, no less.

Want some funnies? We had our very first run of the night taken away because the player walked in from 3rd and didn't touch home plate - she just headed back to the bench. The look on Bill's face was absolutely priceless. He was no less than stunned. I guess we assumed they knew to touch the plate. So every walk after that, everyone chimed in with "Touch the plate."

A few kids asked if they could wear raincoats on the field. We checked and the ump said okay. (There wasn't a wall nearby to slam my head against!) So we're ready to field and I pipe in with, "You know, you're raincoat will be ruined from the infield dirt. It doesn't come out." Off fly four pink and purple jackets at record speed.

Our pitcher won't wipe off the wet softball on her pants or jersey. We laugh uproariously at this, of course when the girls can't over hear.

We had a tag - a TAG to get someone out. Bill and I were jumping around we were so happy. Why, you ask? Because up until last night, we never even got a person out. Throwing to base, tagging, or catching a pop. All was completed with aplomb last night and we have NO IDEA WHY.

On the Stef front, we have an appt. with a pediatric urologist tomorrow. Her infection is back and she had a regular pediatric appt. on Tuesday. She's just okay, not great and has missed some school this week due to the appts and stomach upset from the antibiotics.

I'm down to one scab on my tata - healed up almost completely. It's still tan in color but for the most part, I'm healed. The inside swelling seems to have lessened quite a bit. And my lymphedema is less.

The hip pain is quite awful. Not constant but it feels like a grinding when I stand up or try to roll over in bed. If you've ever had bursitis, it feels like that. Pain patch isn't making much of a dent but it manages it a little.

I'll confess what everyone else might not be willing to confess. I'm a little worried about the swine flu. Me and my beleaguered white blood cells aren't up to pig wrestling right now.

Be well everyone. Hugs to my longtime blogging friends and hellos to my new friends. Hello Ernie in France :) I hope you all don't think I'm a psycho crazy woman. I just tend to speak my mind, as many of you know :)



imBeth said...

Hi, thank you for speaking your mind! I found your blog from Renee's site. I'm just starting on this journey... take care! Beth.

Daria said...

Keep speaking your mind ... it helps others.