Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Radiation is like being inside a space lab. It's all angles and funky big machines that move all over the place. Computer monitors and static-filled voices hang out on the edges of my awareness. And whoever created the table must've been a masochist. It's so uncomfortable I need help to get off the table. A lifetime of back problems makes me the official gimp - now on a daily basis.

I'm digging on the piped-in music. It's not even elevator music it's so mellow. Sometimes there are sounds like rain or the ocean, which I like better since I have the sound machine running at night to drown out the sounds of the cats romping around the house. I hit my zen place after the technicians finishing fussing with me. It's pretty cool. Today the beams ran for 30, 27, 18, 28, 9 and 36 seconds. I'm gonna count the seconds each day. Can you believe I remembered the numbers? I might faint!!! I said repeated Hail Mary's yesterday to keep the panic under control. It's hard not to move at all and the machines are scary. I'm worried about what it's doing to my bones, is it nuking the stray cancer cells, will my skin peel, etc.

I'm gonna be a good patient!

Radiation is uncomfortable because of the position I have to be placed in. Imagine the Statue of Liberty with the right bent arm above her head. And her head turned as far up and left as possible until the neck is completely extended. Work with me here. Try this position out and then hold it for 20 minutes :o)

No pain yet. That's the unpredictable part of treatment. But I will say that it was extremely uplifting to see a woman yesterday who completed her final treatment.

5 weeks from now I'm done - hot damn!!

It is bizarre though because while I know it's too early to have any affects, I feel something on my right side. It's like I feel my ribs more. It could just be from having my bad arm raised way above my head in an unnatural contortion for 20 minutes. It's silly to think my ribs feel weaker after just two sessions but I'm currently being a panic princess.

Got good news from my Doc yesterday. I have 30 sessions instead of the 33 I originally thought. Can you believe they actually reduced something in this cancer nightmare? I almost fell out of my chair. (MOM, I forgot to tell you this!! Sorry!!)

So rad 2 of 30 is behind me.

I expect you all to practice the Statue of Liberty position and get back to me about the crick in your neck :)

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