Thursday, July 31, 2008

Middle of the night musings

Stuck in my head is something that my brother said today. He told me it's important that many women survive breast cancer and that should be lauded. But he also explained that too many people hold this "badge" so close that it becomes what defines them. Yes, it's a victory but it's a personal victory. Not a pink bracelet, pink ribbon victory.

This is hard to explain. My brother often sends me off into these deep thinking exercises. I'm exploring how I feel about everything from my carpet to my cats right now so I imagine it's quite normal to look at everything differently after getting a breast cancer diagnosis.

Back to my brother. His explanation was that it's almost like breast cancer patients join a club. And that's not always good for everyone. He stressed repeatedly that individuality gets lost and I totally agree. I hope anyone that reads this doesn't get offended by these nighttime mutterings. I'm collecting my thoughts.

In any event, I think I'm tired now. We told our middle child (she's 11) the news tonight. She handled it well, with grace and good questions. She's a strong child, has a ton of faith and will see this through with me. I just don't want her to stop being a kid. She's a tweenie, finding her voice and style, and I sincerely don't want to cramp or interfere in this special growing stage in her life.

Going to sleep. God Bless any and all who've faced the big C.

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